Ok...chit chat must rest for the being, I'm here to share a new poem...new as in..well,may be 4 3 months old..still..new...ryt...

We had a topic to write poem on..and it was ''Vanishing glories of Nature''. Yea..a topic and 1 hr for doing justice to it. My state??well..not pathetic exactly...but had a doubt whether it wud end up looking like an essay or story in the end. But...as they say... all was well...n it came out good.(Given that it was time bound and on de spot..he he)

Here it is for those ppl who sent regular mails 2 me..and kept ma Gb alive...It wudn't exactly be good if I didn't bring ma page back to life....

SILVER LINING

Locked in his room away from humdrum

Electronic games were all he had for company and fun

There weren't any lawns or playgrounds for him to run

Nor was there any sweating under the scorching sun

Stays he, with his parents in a sky scraper

He could touch the sky which seemed so near

But not a friend had he, to be called dear

He represents tomorrow's generation- I fear!

Locked away in another room his mom

Who, as a competition had to take each dawn

She sat alone, staring at the numb screen

Dreams in her eyes, took her back to her teens

Her eyes filled with visions of all the memories

Which can no longer be seen

The long walks by the lake and the red sunsets

The wet rains and the green grassy carpets

The lapping of waves when their eyes met

The chanting of vows around which her world was knit

A tear rolled down her cheek at the thought

Of the answer which her son had sought

Ignorant was he of sunsets and rains in this permanent drought

Unwilling was he to believe the stories of green nature

That he had heard about

Beyond his imagination were the ducks in the pond

And the castles his mom and dad built on beach sands

He wouldn't believe they chased butterflies

Or that they counted a million stars in the sky

"I can't see a single star Mommy

And you say you counted a hundred and twenty?"

She stammered. pollution was not an answer her son would buy!

"You caught fish in the lakes with daddy?

But I thought Tunas came in cans Mommy!"

She stayed mum. she could not explain poisoning to her dear Sonny!

"You flew kites in the sky Mommy?

How could you with no wind in the city?"

She had no answer. "The Clean City" had no trees

He played on with his 'Beeping' friends

Nature has also been a victim to changing trends

"As our selfish needs found new vents

We made damages which we can never mend".

Thought his Granny, rocking in her chair

Years had brought silver into her wisdom and hair

"Granny knows nothing", says her little cherub dear

Little did he know, she was full of fear

Of the calamities which nature would bring to her dear

Stripped off its glory stands the nude nature

Gems lost from its throne and arrows in its armor

Drape her once again with her lost attire

Tend to her wounds with love and care

Looming over our heads and threatening our being

Is the shadow of a dark grey cloud

Let the silver wisdom of granny be

A silver lining of the cloud above.

ANITHA KAVERI

If I could have my wishes

And if wishes did come true

I would ask for nothing else

But to see a genuine smile

Which would make my heart soar

If I could have my wishes

And if wishes did come true

I would ask for just a day

Where love would not just be

Merely Bits and Bytes

And signals that threaten to break away

If I could have my wishes

And if wishes did come true

I would ask for a new emotion

To dominate the worn out ones

And for a glance full of compassion

And for one vital sign of life

In the walking running Dead Humans

If I could have my wishes

And if wishes did come true

I would ask for just one day like this

Even if my wishes are labeled greed

My suppressed wishes..

Will finally find heed!!!!

ANITHA KAVERI

Sleep away my weary eyes,

Depart into dreams as the light around dies,

Loosen your tensions and the duty ties,

Drift with me into dreamy skies.

Hug me tight and shut out all lights;

And dream with me till the early twilight,

Come on love! Let's see a common dream tonight,

In the skies of love, let's fly a colourful kite.

Bed side lamp throws a soft shadow,

Flick it off and see my face glow,

Entwining bodies and minds chant a new vow,

Union of hearts souls and minds takes a toll.

Decorate me in your arms my love,

Seeds of love in dreamland we sow,

A new warmth on me you bestow,

My heartbeats to a new summit you shove.

Compass less am I without your love.

Wayward am I without your love.

Shine forever as my beacon light,

Be forever my first morning sight.

Sleep away my weary eyes,

Depart into dreams as the light around dies!!

ANITHA KAVERI

THE RED BANGLES

The street seemed unusually crowded that weekend. To Paraag it seemed that every single human being out of the threshold of his house had made his way to that very street. He threaded through the crowd cautiously avoiding being hit by a bicycle and at the same time keeping himself from bumping into a woman carrying a new born in her arms. Having been in the same town for five years now, Paraag was a common visitor of the Champa Bazaar. His eyes ran through the length of the street. Countless hawkers were selling there wares. There was literally everything anybody would have on their shopping list. Plastic buckets, crockery, clothes, shoes, sandals, bags, toys....from hairpins to moth balls.. You just had to name it!!

It was the fifth year of Paraag's life in the city. He had graduated out of the Government Engineering College last year. Like any fresh graduate Paraag also had tons of dreams and hopes about his career. He found them blooming into reality when he found his first job in the same city he had studied. But the sky high and alluring promises of his employers turned out to be a hoax after all. In his eighth month at work, Paraag realized that they had made him sweat like a pig, tapped his resources and creativity under the tag of training and exploit his potential for a seemingly non-existent salary. Two days back instead of receiving a confirmation letter, Paraag had received a letter from his head stating that the duration of his training had extended for another six months to ensure his skills in some remote areas which he never once realized even existed. Paraag had remained quiet all those months and worked the fourteen hours every day for the salary that barely sufficed the commutation and food expenses.

It had taken him sometime to decide he was ready to leave the firm...even if it meant a forfeit of the bond. He had two options..either he would go back to his village and help in the family business which was weakening every day and wait for the right opportunity or kill his conscience and ask his friend to arrange a job for him abroad. He heartily despised the latter. He knew that he had to get away. He cannot lose the love for his job just because he ended up in the wrong place. At the moment his workplace made him feel as though he were in a screen saver. Everything seemed real. but was only an illusion.

That evening as he walked through the street Paraag's hands found his wallet. He flipped it open and stared at the contents. His cursed access card of the company seemed to smile at him devilishly. He had half a mind to throw it and makes it vanish in the crowd. He decided the better of it. His eyes grazed though the rest of the belongings his wallet held. his only earnings.. A few ten rupee notes and a hundred rupee note and a ticket for the general compartment in the Sabarmati Express for 11pm that night, to Vadodhra..his home town. The rest of his future he would decide in the room where God had shown him the earth for the first time. He can never go wrong there! He was certain. He gently closed the wallet and pushed it back into the pocket of his old jeans. He had to get the toy his nephew had wanted. The vision of his elder brother saying a third "No" to the little boy when he had produced the wish flashed past Paraag's memory. A smile on the little boy's face was certainly a just reason to spend the crisp hundred on.

Paraag continued walking through the crowded Champa .Almost suddenly his gaze was drawn to a crowd of girls..some of them squatted on the footpath, the others stooping and few others standing as they clicked their tongues and shook their pretty heads and talked animatedly in Hindi to an old woman selling bangles. On approaching Paraag realized they were bargaining over the price of the bangles.

"Bitiya..I myself get it for Rs12, how can I sell it for Rs 10???" the old woman was asking.

"Rs 15 is too much for these old fashioned red bangles..what a waste!!" the girl who seemed to be the gang leader smirked, she mouthed a "Chalo"..and the gang followed after her looking for a new victim to test their bargaining skills.

The old woman spoke to herself, "Haan Haan..laugh away. After all who in these days knows the legend of these red bangles? The purity and innocence of a woman was what these once symbolized. Their absence these days is justified!! Now it is even difficult to find a girl who deserves them..I'd better be left without food than see it on the wrist of such people." She shook her head in disgust.

Ten minutes passed.."Auto!!!"Paraag called.

The driver eyed his prey, young clean shaven guy in decent clothing...and impatience in his eyes.."Perfect Murga" the auto driver thought.

"Kahaan jaana hai Saheb?" he asked.

"Samantha Auditorium..Kitne loge?" Paraag enquired.

"Pachis rupaiyye.Ab is se kam mein to wahan pe pahunchoge nahin aap",he challenged.

Paraag had no time for arguments. He had to reach the auditorium before the performance began. He climbed into the auto and watched the alleys disappear and the vehicle made its way to the brighter suburbs. On reaching Samanta Auditorium, Paraag got out and paid off the driver.

Paraag checked his watch.5:30 pm showed the old HMT steel dial which Paraag's grandfather had gifted him. His luggage was in the railway cloak room. Even if the performance began by 7 and ended well after 9...Paraag could still catch the train leisurely. There was no chance he would miss Apoorva Sinha's performance today.Judging that he wouldn't see it again for a long time..or maybe ..never again!!!! Paraag forced the feelings aside and stared at the huge banners.

"CELESTIUM...A TANGIBLE JOURNEY TO THE ENCHANTED DANCE FORMS OF APSARAS". When he reached the last of the banners, he stared at Apoorva life size cutout. She was looking stunning as usual. Falling in line with the crowd, Paraag entered the auditorium and found a place in the rear end of the eighth row.

Apoorva had her makeup men and dresses hovering about her in the green room. They were putting finishing touches to her makeup... She followed the instructions of her makeup man as he trailed the tip of the black eye liner on her eye lid. When they were done with their jobs, Apoorva opened her little hand bag and stuck a dark red bindi on her forehead in between eyebrows and smiled satisfactorily at her reflection in the full length mirror. She had her lucky charm on her forehead..lucky her!!!

As she moved towards the stage, she felt her heart quickening. This was a feeling that took over her every time the final minutes of her performance approached.

"Walk to the stage making sure that the curtains are down and peep through the curtains. Look at your audience..Scan the crowd. Catch familiar faces.All of this.Of course.Without being seen!!!!! This will make you familiar with the crowd and comfortable."Apoorvas teacher had thus shooed away her stage fear, and Apoorva had been following the same words ever since her debut performance thirteen years back. Now that she had decided to pursue a career in the realm of dance, her head was always a whirlwind of thoughts searching for innovative themes for her performance. Especially on that day, she was more than tensed. She had pondered over her next theme for months and found none. If the same void continued she might as well kiss her career goodbye. People wanted freshness.repetitive themes would take her nowhere!

For the past eight months, this ritual of scanning the crowd had a special purpose. A smile began playing on her lips as she gently pried the curtains apart and looked through the crack.

First row...she winced.Aww! The President of Rotary Club of the city. A pain in the neck...Womanizer of the FIRST order.She made a mental note to tell her manager not to let him into the green room after her performance. Many of her "so called admirers" queued up to after her generous gifts and shortcut ladders to fame. She despised them. She was a perfectionist and profession was meant to be profession and nothing more. That was her belief. Her gaze trailed off to the second row.she spotted her beloved uncle there. He had managed to come. She felt happy. Her uncle was her best critic. More acquaintances followed in the rest of the rows. Then she saw him.seated in the last seat of the eighth row. He seemed to be in some distant thought..she felt elated seeing him there. Satisfied she went on to check if the sound tracks were correct with the man who handled the audio systems for the day. Apoorva gave no room for chaos; she herself ensured the backstage controls were all proper before taking position on stage. It was that habit of hers which made her meet Paraag. Another human being on earth who was so much like her. A self motivated perfectionist.

Today's performance would be an attempt to bring the charm which the celestial beauties or the celestial dancers of heaven were one known to possess. The journey would let her spectators touch and feel the grace of those age old apsaras.

Paraag was nodding to a talkative man seated next to him as the curtains were raised. A hush fell over the crowd as the music began to low. Making its way through their nerves it spread over their system...dissolved in their blood. Their eyes found it impossible to follow Apoorva's transition from slow to ultra fast movements. Her eyes conveyed different meanings and her mudras ascertained them. As ex-pressions flickered on her face, the feelings of the same overpowered her crowd.

Paraag thought he skipped a heartbeat at a point when she made a direct eye contact with him in a provocative gesture. The rest o the performance was awesome. At the end of it, fog like material spread over the stage and the curtains rolled down. The applause was deafening.

Paraag made his way to the green room quickly. People were already thronging at the gate. Apoorva's manager (Shukla ji as Apoorva called him) was talking animatedly to two distinguished looking men. He caught sight of Paraag and waved. Paraag felt the wave of excitement sweep over him. This was the only place where the trainee software engineer enjoyed VIP treatment. As Paraag strode into the green room, the manager couldn't help wondering "what is in him, after all?"

Paraag felt the tension in him easing. Every time he was under the gaze of the manager, he felt that Shukla would recognize him this time. Somehow...that never happened. The event occurred a year back. Paraag had been in the last days of his student hood. His meeting with Apoorva was one of those lucky accidents...

Paraag' friend, Anjan's brother was the owner of a shop that rented sound systems to auditoriums . the best one in the city. As Anjan's brother was tied up with something that day, he had asked Anjan to take care of the arrangements at Swapnil Nagar for the day. Anjan had a tough day at lab. So he had asked Paraag to cover up for him. Paraag had supervised the sound arrangements and the audio controls for the day. When he was almost done the dancer in full costumes came up to him and insisted on checking the sound tracks herself. She adjusted the frequency levels to her satisfaction but found that they were done methodically. She was surprised and asked Paraag where the usual man was. Paraag told her that he was a proxy. Apoorva caught sight of his college bag and T-scale. Apoorva's was the first dance performance Paraag had ever witnessed. It was a reflection of perfection itself. He realized that there was so much in that woman that others didn't even know had existed. As she made her exit Paraag had stopped and congratulated her. They spoke calmly but the manager intervened. "Offh uh..she must be tired. Why do you guys not stick to your job?"

Apoorva had waved off her manager and talked to Paraag. "So you an engineer?" she gad asked him quizzically. "I will be one in a few more months...my final days at college", he had replied.

From then on Paraag watched as many as performances of Apoorva as he could. He saw her passion for her art and the way she pursued it was infectious. However their relationship remained confined to the discussions in the green room... Though each one knew the other was willing to give better dimensions to their relationship..things remained untold.

Paraag entered the green room. Apoorva was clearing some of the mess on her table. Her face broke into a smile when she saw him. Paraag caught himself wishing for the hundredth time to see her without makeup. Deep inside a fear lurched today...it may remain a wish forever. He cast his eyes around the room. The table was stacked with a pile of gift boxes.

"Tokens of appreciation from admirers.."he thought. Slowly they began speaking. She told him that her career was in the rock period. She didn't an innovative theme. Two of her usual chances were stole away by her rivals. He saw tears in her eyes. Yet she regained her composure and determination glowed e gently in her eyes. He gently told her of his own apprehensions about his job and she listened intently. There was agony in her eyes as he told her, he would be going home that night..away from the city. Her eyes welled up with tears when he mentioned his plans about going abroad.

"Abroad?" she had almost choked on the word. "Does that mean that you are leaving the city forever??"

He sighed."May be."

So many emotions encircled them..anxiety, fear, confusion, love, parting.. They didn't know which the predominant emotion was. So much remained unsolved in front of them...their careers were in danger unless something was done.

It was them that she noticed the packet that he was clutching in his hands..Paraag let it fall to the floor. It fell with a clinking noise on the heavily carpeted floor. Apoorva crouched to pick it up. She opened it with questing hands. When she looked up at Parag her eyes were filled with tears..

She asked him accusingly "How could you drop them.what if they had broken???"

With that she removed the stone bangles adorning her wrists and threw them on the floor. She slipped the red bangles on her wrists and adored them. Paraag told hr how he found it that evening and she smiled.

"Paraag,.can't you give your fate just one more try? I have an acquaintance who can help you find a new job. It was a challenging one and he was in search of the right person. It depends entirely on your ability if you would have the job or not. If you are ready..then I guess I have the runway for your plane to take off", she was almost smiling. Paraag considered the offer. He had nothing to lose, but everything to gain. What she said was right..he could give a try.

She even went up to the extend of saying he would be the best employee of the company for the year!! How he wished her words came true... And indeed they did!! Paraag's employer was practically bouncing at the ideas Paraag put forward.

Paraag called Apoorva to convey the good news. She was absolutely thrilled. She said she has a surprise for him; giving him the address of Titanka Mahal auditorium, she clicked the phone. Paraag didn't know what was on her mind. They had been raking their brains over the last few months thinking of a theme for Apoorva's forthcoming dance. Their toil had gone in vain.

Paraag's jaw dropped as he got out of the auto in front of the auditorium. The banners all around welcomed him to Apoorva's newest dance drams titled.. "THE RED BANGLES"

Apoorva staged the prominence of red bangles in a woman's life. She showered how culture changed over decades.how the red bangles painfully vanished from a woman's wrist. She portrayed the red bangles as an epitome of purity and submissiveness.

As the curtains closed, a dozen red bangles jingled over the microphone.the same red bangles sold by the lady on that busy street.. They had a tale of their own to say..!!!!

Apoorva beamed at Paraag.in that green room that changed their fates. That saved them from crossroads..where at the hands of creativity..two patrons of perfection found satisfaction in their endeavors.




I have attempted to convey one message through THE RED BANGLES.

Certain things in life are not found by searching for them. You simply have to wait for them to find you. BUT WHEN THEY FIND YOU...you must never hesitate to throw the doors open to them. Creativity and satisfaction ....are two of this long list.

The rest is for you to interpret..


ANITHA KAVERI

There was a smile in her eyes as the train became visible at the far end of the tracks. She craned her neck in anticipation to catch a better view of the train. Yes! The same train had been taking her home for the last four years. from Itarsi to Agra.After every semester vacation. but this is the last time she would carry her load of luggage and climb into the train. Her course was over and she was heading home. now she had the degree she had wanted. She can now be a full fledged engineer.

The train sighed as it stopped at the Itarsi station in Madhya Pradesh. The station was empty.. except for her and a few vendors. Aashna carried her suitcases two at a time to the steps of her bogie. After making sure she had all the luggage in tow she cast one last glance over her shoulder at the platform. She would miss all the college memories. Aashna usually went home with her friends and all of them would make that deserted station a night club, singing songs and calling each other names.. They would celebrate their holidays. Since their last exams were over her friends had decided to stay a day longer at the hostel before returning to their homes. Aashna had packed her bags soon after exams got over. There was a reason for that too.

She groped her way through the dark bogie with the flashlight in her mobile as an aid to locate her berth. Carefully she put away her bags and scrubbed away the dirt from the berth with a tissue paper. "Yuck" she couldn't help exclaiming as she stared at the dirt gathered in the paper.

"Why don't you switch on the lights?", a deep masculine voice offered. It was her co passenger in the coupe. He reached for the light and suddenly milky light flooded the entire area.

"Oh no. I'm almost done. You can switch it off", Aashna said and attempted to put them out.

"arey itni bhi kya jaldi hai? Pehle settle ho jao.. uske baad bhuja dena", he said

Aashna sighed. She was definitely not going to argue for a paltry light to a stranger. She put bye her luggage under the berth and took out a few things she may need for the night and stuffed em into the pockets of her jeans. She raised her eyes to the man in his early thirties, posing a respectable look. It was then that she realized he had been staring at her all this while. Aashna smiled to herself. She was used to attention. specially her pale green eyes held men captivated.

She looked at him in the eye and said, "bathi bhuja lijiye.. main settle ho gayi hoon", and swiftly got over to her berth and buried herself under the warm blanket. She waited for a few minutes for the lights to go off. which they did in a few minutes. The flicking off of light was followed by receding footsteps of her co passenger.

Aashna did not care. She lay awake in her berth running a hand thru the length of her hair thinking of what was waiting for her on arriving at her place.

Aashna's wedding was on the following week. Her fiancé was a scientist at the Bhaba Atomic Research Centre. Her mother had stumbled across his profile in a leading matrimonial site. Aashna and Milan had been engaged after a formal meeting in front of parents and relatives six months earlier. After the engagement the two had fallen in love. A very convenient arrangement. No anxiety about the future of the relationship, no tensions about consent of parents..etc.

Aashna had expected Milan to be a reserved nerd. But he turned out to be a smart easy going guy with a tremendous sense of humor. And very romantic too. She smiled as she thought of him. Milan.. Her 1^st love. Her mother's birthday gift to her, for Aashna had met Milan for the 1^st time on her birthday. He would be at the Agra station to receive her.

"Aashna, do u know where I would take you soon after you get out of the train?" he had asked her in the last fone call that he had made to her.

"hmmm. the Taj?", Aashna asked

"Nope" he said

"Then?", she asked quizzically.

" I will take u straight to airtel's office and make you pay my cell fone bill. Goshhh.. Do u know how long we have been talking? I had asked for an hour's break from my head. and its already 4 hrs!!!" there was amusement in his voice as he teased her.

"Milan!!! That is the most unromantic thing any guy would have said to his fiancée!!!" she exclaimed giggling.

His tone turned serious as he said, "Jane ka tho jee nahin karta. Par Aashna I've to get back to work. Will count moments to see you girl. Take care of yourself while traveling. I just can't wait to see you. And listen don't pray for my dreams to come true yet."

"kyun nahi??" Aashna asked

"kyonki if u ask god 2 make my dreams come true you will be 5 months pregnant now". he laughed

"milaaaannnnnnnnn!!!!", she screeched.

Aashna ran the conversation by her mind for the 10^th time in the last 6 hours. The place was getting colder and Aashna shivered in her blanket. She was unable to bring herself to sleep. By now, her co passenger was forgotten. Aashna had just Milan on her mind. Just Milan.

She got out of her berth and fiddled around her for her slippers. She realized that her co passenger had still not returned. "May be he thought of sleeping elsewhere to let me have my privacy". She thought as she headed for the toilet to ease herself. She had barely reached outside her coupe when she heard her fone ringing. She raced to reach for it and a huge smile spread over her face seeing Milan's name.

"Hello.." she said

" Aashna .. thik tho ho? Train is on time na?", Milan asked concern evident in his voice.

"I'm ok Milan.. And stop worrying!! Abhi abhi soch rahi thi tumhare bare mein.. aur bas.. tumhara call aya.."she let her voice trail, with a hint of blush in it which Milan did not miss.

"Really?? No wonder. abhey bewkuf, main to sone ki koshish kar raha tha. Soch sochke kyun jagaya mujhe? Saath din ke baad kahan so paunga main?? Tum jo aa tapkogi mere kamre mein!!!" he teased her mercilessly.

He would never change. Never will he admit that he was too anxious about her safety to sleep.

"so jao Milan. I assure u I'm ok. Haan.. sab kuch thik hain..bas ek aadmi tha.. ab who bhi nazar nahi aa raha .. yes Milan. I love you.. haan baba.. I will.. okie. see you in the after noon.. miss you..good night"

aashna's pale green eyes sparkled with excitement as she ended the call. She was unaware of ears that had been listening to her conversation. While putting the fone back into the bag, while pulling the zippers Aashna was preoccupied with her dreams. She failed to hear the footsteps at the end of the narrow corridor. She made her way to the toilet. The 1^st one was unfit for use. There was no use complaining about the plight of facilities in the Indian railways.

"the fans the toilets the food the seats. they ne'er change." Thought Aashna.

She was somewhat satisfied with the second one. And she latched the door behind her. The water sent shivers through her as her finger tips touched it. Before walking out, she caught a glimpse of herself in the dust smeared mirror. A beautiful woman. in an attractive smile stared at her. It is indeed true that being in love makes you look good. There was smile on her lips which even she couldn't account for. Her eyes looked brighter,day after day. Milan had done a magical invention. and it was impossible to hide it even in this darkest evening of the year. She saw tiny shadows of slumber dancing across her eyes. the green eyes that Milan remembered from their only meeting.. the eyes that had him her slave!!

Tearing herself away from the mirror Aashna unlatched the door and tried to open it. But it refused to open. She checked for any extra latches that had been set accidentally, but found none.

"Now. what kind of dirty prank is this!!" she muttered and ran her gaze over the entire length of the door. All the latches were undone and the door still refused to budge.

She knocked on the door..1 min passed..

She knocked louder and called out. 3 mins passed

She was getting closer to panic every second.. and began banging on the door with all her might. Nothing happened!

The train was hooting loudly and rushing at full speed. Aashna clutched the sides of the wash basin to keep herself from falling.

"Oh god! What do I do!!! Who on the earth is playing these dirty tricks?"

"I would wait to hear some movement outside and then bang loudly. Some one will definitely hear me", she thought. Aashna was already feeling desperate. She had left her phone in her bag. not that having a fone would do any good. But nothing makes u feel better than the possession of a "working" telecommunication device in the moments of emergency.

As if answering her prayers she heard approaching footsteps, they were slow and deliberate.. she was unsure.. was her ears playing tricks with her.. or were they really footsteps? She banged on the door with every ounce of energy she could muster and screamed.. "koi haiiii.. Yeh darwaja zara kholiye.. Pleaseeee!!"

There was no movement outside but she still felt the strong presence of some one.

Thoughts buzzed through her head.. then she heard it. The magical noise of the latch being drawn aside. it seemed to take forever.

As soon as the latch was undone she pulled the door open and stared into the frame of her co passenger , who, by now was definitely drunk.

He was standing at the door .blocking her way.

"why the hell did you lock me inside? What kind of dirty pranks do u think u were playing , u drunk." she stopped her eyes flashing with anger.

He just smiled at her with his lips.. a lopsided smile.. and let his eyes sweep down the length of her, taking in her contours.

"maine kaha raaste se hath jao.." her statement hung in mid air as he lunged forward and caught her arms attempting to twist it behind her. Aashna's senses surged as she tried to close the door on his face, but he was a deft and prevented it with his foot in between the door. He gave it one push and the door flung open. Aashna's screams were drowned by the hand that he kept tightly over her mouth. She kicked, fought, beat and tried to free herself from the beast who had pounced on her.

Her cries remained unheard and her puffs for breath remained un noticed. As the train continued its journey to its destination, Aashna was losing her carefully woven dreams..one by one.. second by second. The maniac satisfied his urges, leaving behind a nearly dead mass, what was once a beautiful, charming girl. with millions of dreams.

Aashna lay unconscious as he stumbled out of that cursed toilet and leapt out of the train at a small station.

Consciousness kissed Aashna after six hours. She tried to pull herself up and found it very difficult.. her entire body ached. And most of all.. her heart.. her head.. she was in a wreck.

Tears rolled uncontrollably down her cheeks and sobs escaped her throat. She cried her heart out. Like a lost baby seeking for its mother, she searched for a way to believe it was all a lie. Figures loomed through her head.. that of her mother, her father, her brother, her would be in laws. and.. Milan.!!!

She gathered herself up and frantically washed him out of herself. she felt his cursed smell linger and scrubbed violently to shake herself off from it. Aashna stumbled out of the toilet and made her way to her seat. The empty seats stared at her. She did not look for him in his seat. somehow she knew that he would have escaped, leaving her devastated. Aashna reached down to her bag and pulled out a clean dress. She pulled it over her and ran a comb mechanically through her matted hair. Her sobs had ceased. tears had stopped. She was in a condition where she could not think

There is this condition where your brain refuses to work. your head throbs.you feel very nerve stretching and straining.and you hear noises in your head...like knuckles breaking.

Aashna did not notice the daily commuters who chatted merrily on her beside. But they certainly noticed a beautiful girl who seemed blind and deaf running a comb through he hair and staring at the intricate pattern in her colorful kurta.

The train hustled into Agra station . Aashna carried her luggage and aligned 'em carefully at the door.

She thought she caught a glimpse of Milan .. or was it because her eyes were already blurred with tears? No. it was Milan indeed. He was waving at her and smiling. Aashna stepped out of the train. and ran towards Milan and collapsed in his arms!!

"Aashna!! Yeh kya kar rahi ho? Log dekh rahe hai yaar..chodo..". but Aashna was not listening. For from this world of tyranny.. from this world of poison and obsession.. a lucky soul had broken away.in the arms of the man she loved.

The train slowly moved out of the platform. rattling lives.

ANITHA KAVERI

Guys and girls, I'm writing this blog with helluva lot of irritation. I have been trying to push this incident from my mind, but in vain. and now I finally turn to the ever dependable and ever ready... ilanders.

You guys might have gathered from my earlier posts that I seem to have taken a sudden and unexplainable love for slumber. Very soon I will push the sloth, know to be the animal which sleeps for the longest period far behind. Now it so happened that my mom. my dearest mom decided to put an end to this affair I have developed with sleep. She seems to have signed a pact with the building workers demolishing a house in my neighborhood. The banging noises never seem to cease. every hit they make seems to be on my cerebral hemispheres and my poor neurons are screaming. "I cannot take this any more." Very soon I can see the scope of them turning into Eminem fans!!!!!

Well lemme get back to the point.

So my mom pulls me outta de bed and plans outings every day.. just to keep me awake.

OK.I say

'Today we will go to the Azhakodi Devi temple', She says.

I raked my brains and tried to force my disoriented neurons awake. Yea. it is a famous temple in our city. The only times I have gone there are during the vijaya dasami days. that also. 3 or 4 years back.

In about an hour me, my mom and my grand mom were at the temple. In spite of being a sleepy head.. I was some what happy, as me going to temples was a rarity. All the slokas and sthotras I had learnt came flooding to my memory.

Boards hung on the wall of the temple seemed to stare at me. And these boards my friends are the cause of my irritation. 'Devotees clad in salwar/chudidhars, pants, jeans, shirt are not allowed inside the temple'. I stood there reading this cursed notice board in my favorite pale green kurta and white salwar. I failed utterly to understand the logic behind this practice. What the heck is wrong if a woman decided to dress modestly and offer prayers!!!! As I stood there irritation mounting on me, a family came in. the girl among them was wearing a long flowing skirt and a black strapless top.. revealing bare shoulders and ample cleavage!!!! The top threatened to fall off any moment. I stared aghast as the temple supervisor coolly let her in. I stared in disgust as the guy who made me stand out followed after her!!! I could hear her lungs banging against her rib cage pleading for space to expand in that top of hers.

My mood to pray was ruined.. I jus felt miserable for the poor deity inside. I moved away and read the rest of the notices which hung on the wall. There was one announcing that the chief priest had donated five huge copper vessels to the temple. Another one was asking the devotees to avoid using mobiles inside the temple.

Breaking my thoughts a mobile wailed the 'Bacardi blast song' as the girl stepped out of the temple after her 'worship'. A croaky voice flooded the silent area as her caller wished her a happy birthday. The guy at the other end went on to sing his wishes. GOSHHH he brayeddd!!!! And the idiot did not even care to reduce the ear piece volume and walked away with her croaky admirer at the other end. and parshad in the other hand.

And me?????? Standing transfixed staring at her.

Now tell me guys. in this growing age of atheists agnostics and rationalists. where existence of gods is a matter of doubt, do these idiotic practices take us anywhere??

Cant we worship when we are in salwars and jeans??? Is there any logic behind this. if any one knows.. Pray tell me!!!

ANITHA KAVERI

MASTER MY MASTER!!!!

(The Faceless Woman speaks.)

Master! My master.

Touch me and make me glow!

Master, my creator!

Bring me to life. ever so slow!

Master! My master, my creator! My mentor!

You made me beautiful and youthful

You are passionate and thoughtful!!

You touched me and filled me with colors,

You ran your brush over my contours

You tickled me here, you tickled me there

The color to my cheeks rose in a flicker

You nudged me.Oh! A touch here. a touch there,

To make me look better and tended me with a special care,

In such a way that people stop dead in tracks and stare!!!

Master!! Oh. my master!!

Now I look at you in despair,

You seem to have done with me and put me up here!

Framed and locked. I feel so bare!!!

I long for a look from you my master!!!

I long for a touch of your hand

Touch me my master. stroke me.

I wish you come close to me and stand

I wish to feel your proximity

To breathe the scent of your air

To feel your eyes on me my master

I don't care even if you glare!!

Touch me my master!! Stroke me.

Run your brush tip over me.

Touch me! My master. my creator!

For I cannot speak or make you hear

You created me without eyes, lips, nose or ears

And called me, " 'FACELESS', my dear"!!

Master. my master! My creator!! My mentor!!!

Is it my fault I dream to be your master piece?

Master, Break my frames... My master!

Away from you the loneliness engulfs me in its flames.

Master. Oh! My master. My creator... my mentor

Touch me my master. stroke me..

Ladies and Gentlemen: this poem is a request or an ivitation to my friend and a regular ilander FEBIN JOY to re begin his fabulous "FACELESS" series which he seems to have left behind. The picture shows FEBIN'S faceless women.

Check the Faceless series here:

Picture 1

Picture 2

Picture 3

YOU SIMPLY ROCK FEBIN. THIS ONE IS FOR YOU!!!!

Whatever it be, when I woke up I found 28 missed calls across de screen of ma fone!!! Boyyyy!!! That was a decent number. This seemed to have no impact on my conscience and I slowly drifted off to sleep once again.

I was woken up by my mom, and she thrust the cord less fone on ma face telling me to speak up fast as it was ma cousin from Ireland. Adarsh is ma uncle's son who is a consultant cardiologist in Ireland. Last time he called..He had screamed at me for picking up the fone as he just wanted to hear the "aunty in de fone" talk Hindi and Malayalam!!! Yea. weirdness runs in the family. I'm not the only victim.

Anyway "helooooo.." I said, sounding nothing like the way I do when I'm awake.

"Sleeping beauty.areyyy udd!!!! Aunty boli chaubeezo ghante sothi rehti ho!!! Aur koi kaam nahi kya tumhe!!!" traitor mom!!! I thought. Nothing can be more mortifying than having some one realize you have nothing to do!!!!

"tum tho tehre cardiologist. Tumhe tho dilonki maramat karne se chutti kab milti hai?? Bolo. aaj kaise yaad kiya??" I attempted an old number to make ma self look small.

And it clicked!!

He went onto say about how job kept him busy and how his lil doggie grew big. Yea. he's got a st.Bernard .slowly I felt his voice turning troubled as he spoke about his trip last week to London and running into Akshaya's parents at a restaurant. I sensed the purpose behind his call. His mind was troubled and just needed to speak. After taking to me for about 20 minutes, I felt him easing and the conversation slowly returned to things like his next visit to India and his approaching engagement ceremony etc. Adarsh put down the fone leaving a worried me at the other end. That is how I began writing this blog.

Clearly thoughts about Akshaya was dominating my mind. Soon after completing his studies from London Adarsh had worked in Kerala for a few months. My dad had gotten him a job in the biggest hospital in our city so that he could have some 1^st hand experience and at the same time spend some time with us. He is ma mom's pet u see.

Akshaya was one of his favorite patients.. till date. And the prettiest and the youngest. she was about a year and a half when her parents 1^st brought her to Adarsh.

I thought back to the day when I had 1^st . and last met Akshaya. Adarsh and I had planned to go out in the evening. He had left to the hospital asking me to pick him at 5pm from the hospital. On arriving at the hospital, I found Adarsh holding an extremely cute little girl in his arms. He beckoned me in and took the lil girl whom he called Akshaya and me to an adjoining room, where he began examining the little child. From the ex-pression on his face I realized that there must be something wrong. He handed me the stethoscope and made me listen to the violent heart beats of the baby. Her eyes were flickering in all directions.. without concentrating any where and there was lil co-ordination between the two. Adarsh told me she was breath less. confirming my doubts. I watched him change from a play mate of mine to a professional as he ordered the tests to be done to an awaiting nurse. We cancelled our plans for the evening and waited for Akshaya's test results. Adarsh diagnosed Akshaya with a hole in her heart. That night I found him more pensive than ever, in between our usual late into night conversation he told me that Akshaya's condition cannot be rectified immediately. They had to perform a surgery and it could be done only after she turned 5.

Akshaya's father was an engineer in the UK and had come down to see what could be done to his little daughter. The guy had a month's leave before his return and wanted Adarsh to perform the surgery immediately which Adarsh was not willing to do.

A week later Adarsh received a call from Akshaya's father. He was calling from a private hospital in Delhi. He was proud, telling Adarsh that the doctors had agreed to operate on Akshaya. Adarsh left the game of cards we had been playing and talked animatedly over the phone about the risks involved in the process. I saw the doctor in him leaving as he pleaded to the man for taking a second opinion. But he was adamant and went ahead with his decision.

Result??? Akshaya is 8 months dead now!!!!!!

Adarsh had been heart broken on the day when his friend working in the same hospital called him up to convey the news of Akshaya's death. Adarsh could speak only about how the father came all the way down to kill his daughter and about the pathetic condition of modern medicine whose saviors the modern doctors who do anything to get money.

After a few months Adarsh had realized the condition of Indian hospitals where he had to do everything according to what his chief demands him of and decided to migrate to Ireland in search of job satisfaction.

For whom did I write this blog? Adarsh who did not succeed in finding a hospital of his dreams to work for? Askhaya's father who wanted an immediate treatment for his daughter that money could buy?? Or the devils in the white coat who failed to see the smile of innocence on that little angel's face in spite of her breathlessness?Or for the crying mother about whom I mentioned not a word in this blog??????????????????

ANSWER : FOR ALL OF US..WHO CARE!!!!!!

AKSHAYA... I CAN SEE YOU SMILING MA SWEETIE.. YOU KNOW ALL OF US CARE!!! DON'T YOU!!!

ANITHA KAVERI